August 29th 2020

29. Aug, 2020

Let me just summarise the last year before the main post,  the political craziness here in the UK, the bitterness and division, the General Election, no further delay to Brexit and then Covid-19 arrived to shut down our world, utter suffering of the bereaved, political indifference, financial rescue packages, the every day wearing of face masks.  And in the midst of this, Baby Sister contracting Covid and giving it to me, the fatigue, loss of taste and smell, the breathlessness, the fear of Baby Sister needing intensive care and maybe never coming out, hearing my late Dad say 'she's not critical' and thank God she didn't need the hospital and we have both recovered.  At the same time, our 84 year old mother was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer and died 6 weeks later, I didn't post about her passing because we were estranged for many years and it's too hard to talk about.  At the same time also, I experienced post menopausal bleeding and was a suspected Cancer patient until ruled out.  An MRI showed something on my left ovary, a Cancer marker blood test came back normal.  A polyp was removed and tested, resulting in a letter from the hospital - no Cancer, no pre Cancer, any further bleeding, see your doctor - grateful to receive that letter is an understatement.  But I vividly recall, just before the operating theatre to have the polyp removed, a doctor telling me if malignancy was found, then there would be a multi disciplinary team meeting with the Royal Marsden Hospital to plan my care.  And I remember feeling horror and deep sadness at the thought of this.

So imagine if any of us can, Chadwick Boseman battling stage 3 Colon Cancer, surgeries, chemotherapy whilst acting in various projects and hardly anyone knowing.  Acting must have been challenging enough  but can you imagine fight sequences in Black Panther, the gruelling schedule, the interviews, the whole Marvel hoopla, whilst suffering as he did?

Today I woke up to the news of his passing and actually cried and cursed Cancer more than any other day.  He was 43, 10 years younger than me, fighting a fight we just didn't see.  Courage, Strength, Faith was immeasurable in this lovely actor that excited so many of us to see him as King T'Challa, the Black Panther and the thought of never seeing him in the Black Panther sequel or Avengers movies or ever act again, hurts me.  A Marvel movie with black superheroes was such a delight, not all superheroes are white after all!  Oh we will mourn you, our King T'Challa, the only comfort is that you are no longer suffering.  Wakanda Forever!