August 11th 2019

11. Aug, 2019


Our very essence is love, we are born Loving
Always craving our natural state
To love and be loved.
Ah but I have not been loved back!
I have been left, yearning
Still learning
About Love.


I thought I could be like everyone else
And found that I am not.
I thought I should come out of my shell
Try and end my grief.
Instead I put my health at risk
A stupid thing to do.
I must be wiser now and find
Other ways to help myself
End this grief, if such a thing
Is possible.


Tried to be positive,
Tried to do something different,
It hasn't worked out so well.
Don't want to walk backwards,
There's no point doing that,
It's about moving forwards.
Where to next?


I have not had a Wedding Day
Nor did my late sister Geeta
And I was thinking how sad that is.
But I'm still alive and healthy
No reason that I can't have My Day.
Someone told me recently 'you're not Miss World'
Never thought I was.
Perhaps there is someone out there
Who'll not think my flaws are
More than what endears
Me to Him.
Maybe I can look forward to
White Lace and Cala Lillies.


In a little while -
We might connect
We might hold hands and walk in the park.
We might tell each other stories of faraway places
And marvel at how beautiful the Earth is.

In a little while
We might have dinner and talk all night
About the things that matter to us
And then decide we'd like to see
More of each other
Or maybe not -


I have found getting older, leads to becoming bolder;
Both in saying and doing.
You will not settle for bad behaviour, cruel remarks, dishonesty,
Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Become a force to be reckoned with, a rock and roll woman,
Art itself.

Men like to be cruel or sometimes just plain undesirable, missing teeth, grey
hair or comments like 'you're so ugly' or 'your breasts hang a little' well
you've seen and heard them before.
But looking around, this is a time for cherishing friendships and embracing
The Golden Years,
Even if things didn't turn out the way you thought they would.
Optimism must rule the day in the end.


Emotions, just like water flowing, trickling along,
Quiet and serene, like I am with you, most of the time.
And then, all of a sudden, great torrents are gushing,
Who do I become - this demoness?
What happens, when I am drowning in my own waters?
Which one of us is more scared, that there is no way back
To calm water -
Quiet and serene, like I am with you.